Death of a Six Foot Teddy Bear
Every now and then in my prayers, I ask God to show me where I'm sinning in my life so that I can make some changes. Today was one of those days. I encountered three different people who I've been holding grudges against (some I don't even think about anymore). Meeting each one made me uncomfortable and angry inside as I remembered all of the things they had done to hurt me in the past. The first was a former landlord. I tried to avoid eye contact with him, but I could tell he recognized me from somewhere and was kind with a smile and greeting. A few minutes later I ran into another former landlord (what are the odds??). This one didn't even recognize me. The third encounter was at the election polls. I ran into the parents of a friend of mine from elementary and high school. I don't hold the grudge against them, I'm hurt at things their daughter said to me over seventeen years ago. (She told me I was going to hell for having premarital sex after I was pregnant with Doogie) They were thrilled to see me again, remembered my name, and wanted to know how I was doing. My anger and hurt at these people does nothing to them. They live in complete freedom from the pain that they caused me, while I've allowed it to drag me down, in one case for seventeen years. No more! Today I forgive Nick, Denise, and Sarah. I'm done with the sick feeling in my stomach when I think about them or meet them. Asking God to show me my sins is not an easy process, and I know he's far from done, but I hope that I can meet each challenge with the release I feel today.
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