I am back! Praise God! Yesterday the doctor switched my patch from Butrans to Fentynal. There was relief within hours, and my stomach doesn't ache anymore. I am so happy! Yes, I have some joint pain, but it's at a livable level. I'm going grocery shopping today after being stuck in the house, the bed really, for seven days straight! I have to say, to anyone considering Butrans, a few things. First, make sure to have a few of your old pain pills on hand to get you through the first three days, because it truly does take a full 72 hours to kick in. Second, pay attention to your body. At first I had headaches, then the chills, and finally terrible stomach pain. I didn't eat much for the full week. This is a new medicine, and I think that it's going to take some time for doctors to become familiar with it. Also, my skin where the patch was is terribly sensitive and itchy today. The Fentynal patch gave me pain relief in about four hours, and my stomach was better in about six.
I never thought that I could be thankful for the life I had two weeks ago. A life where pain was a daily enemy. But now I see that even life at a pain level of seven is far better than trying to survive at a level of nine and ten. There is no living at that level. Even though I was home the entire time, Mia missed me terribly. This morning when I got up and immediately got dressed and fixed her hair, she curled up in my lap and didn't ever want to leave. It hurts to know how frightened she was seeing me cry and hurt and not knowing what to do.
God truly got me through that hellish week. He was with me every moment, every breath, giving me hope, reminding me that as long as He's on His throne, things will be okay, eventually. I learned a lot this past week. I have so many people in my life who really love me. Jesse has been absolutely amazing, dropping everything to run to the pharmacy, calling the doctor, holding me while I sobbed. Doogie, my twenty-year-old son, who isn't much for physical affection, actually came and hugged me several times, dropping a soft kiss on my forehead. I can't tell you how long it's been since I got one of those from him. He also did his best to keep Mia busy and quiet so I could rest each day. My parents, my friends, I am truly blessed.
I don't know why it was necessary for me to suffer, but I know that God makes good of all things in my life, and I held tightly to that truth, searching for understanding and meaning. God is good. All the time.
God and Stephen Hawking by John C. Lennox is a reasoned attack on Stephen Hawking's book The Grand Design, as well as his recent statement that "Heaven is a fairy tale..." Lennox, a respected Oxford mathematician defends the idea of a Creator in this slim but powerful volume. Hawking has insisted that any attempt to use God to explain the mysteries of science is flawed from the start, but Lennox gives hope to Christians by using intelligence and reason to counter this claim. Hawking comes across as a well intentioned hypocrite; he insists that philosophy is dead, but uses philosophy to make his point. Hawking also wants the world to believe in theories that can never be proven, while discarding a logic that would allow less twisted and extreme belief. The book is not an easy read. Unfortunately, Lennox's position as a professor often has him pontificating rather than communicating, and it makes the reading sometimes slow going. That said, Lennox gives Christians some powerful ammo against Hawking's attacks on faith, and the book is a must read for anyone wanting to understand just how wrong the brilliant scientist is.
Thank you to LitFuse Publicity Group for providing me with a copy of this book for review!