Saturday, January 16, 2010

Not Remembered, Never Forgotten

Today was the cheer competition at Appleton North High School, so Molly, Doogie, and I met the rest of the squad at our high school at 6:15 am (!) for the drive. Our girls had to be there early because they were the fourth team of the day to perform. There were only two schools competing in the cheer dance category, so it was an all or nothing day for the girls: they either win or lose.

Last year was a bitter one for the squad. Despite doing well at invitationals and regionals, they ended up taking last in state because their routine didn't have a high enough degree of difficulty. This year, they upped the difficulty level, and the girls have worked hard to become crisp and together in their movements.

After they performed at 9:30, we had to sit around the rest of the day watching other teams compete while waiting for the awards ceremony that was supposed to start at 2:25 (but was closer to 3 by the time it really did start). There was a wide variety in the skill of the teams. There were several mini squads consisting of little girls about Mia's age, plus some awesome co-ed teams that made jaws drop with their stunts. There was always something to watch.

The hard work (and early wake-up) paid off; the girls took first place. It was wonderful to see the thrill on their faces. Now they have tasted success, and I think that they will work even harder toward regionals on Jan. 29. However, sitting on the hard bleachers for over seven hours has left me hobbling and barely able to walk. I'll take it easy tonight and tomorrow and hopefully recover before Monday. And I'll be praying that the seats in Wisconsin Rapids, where regionals are being held, are far more comfortable!

I'm very proud of my girl and her friends. They've worked hard for this!

Not Remembered, Never Forgotten
by Robert Hafetz is an insightful look at the wounds of an adoptee. Hafetz knew from early childhood that he was adopted, and while he always fostered an interest in the identity of his biological parents, he didn't want to hurt his mother by pursuing the search, so he waited until she has passed away. Finally at the age of 51, Hafetz set out to discover who he was and why he had been given up for adoption. He follows the story of his investigation through adoption agencies, forums, and even a psychic, but where the book really shines is in his portrayal of the feelings of an adopted child. He poses a fascinating theory that all babies recognize their mothers at birth because of their nine months together, so when a baby is then adopted, they keenly feel the loss, although it's one they can never put into words. Hafetz eventually discovers the truth about his birth mother, including the fact that she visited him regularly during the first five months of his life while he was in foster care, leading him to believe that while she is not remembered, neither will she ever be forgotten by the son who knew he was cherished. Hafetz is still searching for his biological father and offers information in the book in hopes that a reader may connect him. The book is a powerful reminder of the connection that mothers have with their unborn children, and about the necessity of changing laws to allow adoptees more access to their records once they reach adulthood.

Thank you to the author for providing me with a copy of this book for review!