Friday, December 12, 2008

Gallimore, a Guest Blog by Michelle Griep

I'm featuring a guest blogger today. Michelle Griep has a little something to share about Christmas food in the Dark Ages.
Dieting is for Sissies
by Michelle Griep

Have you wakened from your Thanksgiving tryptophan coma yet? Seriously, it's December, people. Frankly, we have become a bunch of food wienies. We snarf back a plateful or two of a little turkey then moan our way to the sofa, forced to sit and rest a spell while the game is on. How dare we blame our couch potato status on an innocent amino acid? If we lived in Europe about 600 years ago, we wouldn't dream of whining about the serious after effects of turkey gluttony. Not at all. For starters we'd probably need to be alert and on our toes. Though the twelve days of Christmas was an implicit time of peace, one could never be certain that the peace wouldn't come after a brutal attack and the loss of a few heads. We'd also have to make sure we didn't offend the neighborhood wassailers. The savvy Dark Age dweller would make certain to have food, drink and maybe a bit of pocket change for the needy should the singers bearing spiced cider show up at the door. Those most generous received blessings for a fruitful new year. As for the stingy, well, let’s just say they might want to watch their back until the next holiday season.
Finally, people today don't have a clue what a feast truly is. I’m talking massive boar head complete with a rosemary/bay garnish and a mouth stuffed with an apple or festive orange. Think someone possessing a cooked goose is some sort of joke about big trouble? Not during the Middle Ages. It’s more like a slam implying that you had to settle for an ugly fowl while your neighbors served swan or peacock. Interestingly, the pie we think of over the holidays is pumpkin. Child’s play compared to a knight’s appetite. They didn't mess around with something trivial like a slice a la mode. One keeping up with the Knight Jones’ party featured the Queen Mother of all pies. I wonder if it was called the 12 Days of Christmas Pie as it must have taken nearly that long to eat the 165 pound monstrosity. It also included several reminiscent ingredients like geese, blackbirds and partridges.

Which brings me to my final thought… a few extra pounds around the middle was certainly not cause to sign-up for a lifetime membership at the local Y. If you were fortunate enough to eat well and have the belly to show for it, you were a success.

That being said, I think I’ll have me a few more Christmas cookies.

Now that Michelle has made you smile a bit, drop over to YouTube and check out the trailer for her new book Gallimore, then step over to her website for more info on the book. It's coming out on Monday!
The winners of this week's book contest were Jennifer Patzer and Angela Kanzenbach. Congrats you two! Come back on Monday for a new book contest, and this is one you don't want to miss in today's economy!


Kelly Klepfer said...

Thanks, Christy.

I'm a little nervous to ever share a meal with Michelle now. : ). She really gets into her stories. She has actually threatened me with a mace before. Strange but true.

MG said...

A mace is a girl's best friend, especially when anonymous friend tries to swipe a bite of your chocolate nirvana cake.