Thursday, November 15, 2007

Is That All He Thinks About?

I get a lot of boxes from UPS, especially now that I'm Christmas shopping, but today's delivery surprised me. It was marked overnight, perishable. I couldn't think what I may have ordered like that. Opening it relieved my curiosity, but raised my anxiety. It was my first shipment of Enbrel. As soon as I can get in the doctor's office for instructions, I start giving myself shots once a week to deal with my RA. The whole thing feels a little surreal. I have syringes in my fridge and a sharps container in my bathroom. That's not something I ever thought would be a part of my life, and I haven't completely adapted to the idea yet. The no beef diet isn't working quite so well anymore. Or maybe I'm just pushing myself too hard. I've been acting like normal the past couple of weeks: keeping the housework done, doing laundry, cooking meals, running errands, all the normal Mom stuff. Today I'm completely wiped out and fighting the pain. All I want to do is curl up in bed and read a good book (of which I have several in my to-read stack).

Luckily I'll have some time to read this weekend. It's my least favorite weekend of the year. There's something in the air at this time of year. The air suddenly turns bitterly crisp, blaze orange clothing waves on clotheslines, deer play tag with cars. Yep, it's hunting season starting this Saturday morning. I saw two bucks on our road Tuesday night; one of them decided to run in the ditch parallel to the van. Jesse always spends the weekend in the hunting shack with his brothers and dad. He doesn't hunt, but it's their male-bonding thing. It's the only time that we really spend away from each other. It's easier now that we both have cell-phones.

Is That All He Thinks About by Marla Taviano is a fantastic read about the Christian outlook on sex. I was hesitant about the book at first, but the blurb on the back from the writer's husband Gabe made me take a look: Buy this book, read it and do everything Marla says. In the end, it was a great read. I learned a lot about how men think and why sex is so important to marriage. Taviano makes excellent points throughout. Women don't need sex to maintain their equilibrium like men do, but that's no reason for us to ignore their needs. She addresses it well in a conversation with a friend in which she asks what the friend's favorite things to do are. The friend responds with shopping and scrapbooking. Taviano asks her how often she would get to do those things if she could only do them with her husband. The friend answered "not very often, that's why I do them with my friends." But Taviano explains that sex is one of our husbands' favorite things to do, and they can only do it with us. Is it fair to not give them that opportunity? While many women (me included), use the excuse that if he was more understanding, sympathetic, helpful, etc., he'd get more, Taviano points out that we're going about it all the wrong way! Sex for men is a need, for most women it doesn't even register on their radar, but when a man's needs are being met, he's more likely to meet his wife's needs for cuddling, help around the house, and a sympathetic ear. She uses Bible verses to make many of her points, especially Song of Solomon. This book is a real eye-opener giving a new perspective on sex within the marriage. One small warning: the book is about sex, so it's occasionally graphic.

You still have time to enter the drawing to win a free copy of James Scott Bell's Try Dying. Just send an email to clockstein at and ask me to sign you up. You have until midnight Friday, good luck!


Anonymous said...

Enbrel is going to change your life. I'm so happy that you are taking this step. In a few months you won't be able to believe how much pain you had and it will be just a faint memory!
I hope it goes well for you!
Wishing you all the best!